So It Goes

3,038/4,000 for tomorrow

Canadian Democracy Exam Friday
Political Philosophy Exam Saturday

= so sleepy

It's 4am and I'm still packing. The mountain of stuff seems to never end. I'm considering a two hour nap before I face the rest. This is ridiculous I never thought I had THIS much stuff.

I have a downtown apartment for May and a job at a cafe! 

WIN!

York is still on strike. Holy fucking lame.

The only good thing about it has been spending lots of extra time in Londontown with Mike. Other than that I really truly miss my education.

This part is for Erin Goody: I had a dream that I was at your house with Emma and Cole, but it was not your house. It was a huge beach house. Ms. Armitage was very drunk on the front porch and bad mouthing former PCVS students, she was apparently your parents' friend. You were telling everyone you were pregnant. Your room was yellow. WEIRD!


 

I can't sleep ... again

Ted Rogers is dead, if only his evil evil corporation was dead too. Then if there is not a hell, one would be created just for that company, they are THAT evil.

Madison is reading 'Hopscotch'
She is sitting on Mike's futon
She is drinking a glass of wine
She is preparing for a sleepless night and a long day
She is wearing boxer shorts

This is going to be a busy-bee sort of weekend/week. Essay for Environmental Politics due on the 31st, essay for Social and Political Philosophy due on the 3rd and a couple presentations thrown into the mix. I'm trying to get everything done so I can see Mike next weekend AND see Crookers in London, which would be a most excellent combination.

My OSAP cheque finally came after they screwed up my banking information and sent my cheque to the wrong address (thanks a lot jerks). I really did let out a 'eeee!!!' when I saw it in the mail. It's exciting stuff paying off the phone bill and buying groceries.

I should be doing work right now, but instead I ate rice, veggies and tofu and thought about what I'm going to be for Halloween. Now I know, but I need an accessory that may require a bit of searching ... possibly begging. I need a bag of scrabble letters and someone willing to forfeit them to me. I will search high and low because if everyone is like me in regards to scrabble, they cherish their letters

Okay... essay time.... starting.... NOW!
 

Everything seems wonderful again. If I merely forgot about the fact that I am quite tired and have an excessive amount of reading to do I could just lounge around happily in the park, but unfortunately this is not quite the case. This evening, or what is left of it, and all tomorrow will be dedicated to work. My reward will be a visit from Mike and the Cut Copy concert.
I had a pretty excellent 19th birthday. I went to London, unexpectedly, on Thursday and spent Friday evening with a delicious home cooked dinner and two bottles of wine plus a Mike. When I made my first purchase at the LCBO the cashier told me how to make absinthe. Happy 19th to me!

I am making oatmeal because oatmeal is comfort food.
I am wearing a hoodie because they are just plain comfortable.
I am reading Plato because I have to.
I am trying to avoid thinking about stuff.
I am trying to be academically driven to the point of ridiculousness.

it's a bad day.

It has been quite awhile since I posted anything and I feel that this is the right time. I don't really like posting entries when I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say, but today I feel quite content. This last month or so I've become aware that my overworrying and overanalyzing things is overall quite detrimental to my mental health and really isn't helpful to anyone. In fact I kind of think that it has gone too far in a couple incidents and problems that I thought were there were actually, well, not. I feel much better now though once I have calmed down and took another look at all the situations that have caused me near panic attacks and for the most part they really are okay, or in some cases fantastic. Honesty, at times when I look at the things that have been bothering me I find that they are actually amazingly good and I guess, like most people, when things get good you assume that there is something bad lurking nearby.
There are a few grievances of course, like the restaurant in Toronto that still hasn't given me my pay cheque from three months ago. I just gave them an angry phone call telling them that I will call the labor board. This isn't really unreasonable considering I have called them upwards of six times and given them my address twice. I am seriously displeased with them. As well, on a completely unrelated note, I am displeased that eggs give me a headache because I really like eggs.
I am also completely tired of the rain. It's nice for cozy evenings and cuddling inside, but when it happens every day almost it gets annoying. It was especially annoying when I was at Backmeadows and there was so much rain that that the music was canceled two bands before it was supposed to and the tent leaked and I was wearing wet socks... I hate wet socks. Overall it really did put a damper, excuse the pun, on the evening. My weekend was saved though by a nice evening with Mike last night, even if I did have to watch the worst movie ever, 'The Machine Girl'. I should have known better when I watched the trailor and her arm gets tempura'd. Crazy Japan. Nonetheless an evening of movie watching and cuddling with my boy is always pretty sweet.
Today I plan on running some errands, paying my rogers bill, trying to get my pay cheque from Teleperformance and checking out the sexy new counters and Dreams of Beans while filling my tummy with coffee. As well I should go to the gym and do some reading. I feel like I haven't been reading nearly enough.
I feel like I should be doing more stuff for myself, but I can't figure out for the life of me what they would be. I really have to work on that. At least I have the job at Dreams of Beans now so I don't seriously hate my job now. Although I will hate those 12hour shifts for awhile.
But for now, errands ahoy!
-Madison

I need huggles.
Today sucks.

Operation 'Get Madison Back to Peterborough' is a success. My mom is moving  back to Peterborough, randomly, so I'll stay with her during the summer. Now All I need is that job thing. I quit my job here, but I still have to finish off the weekend. It is pretty brutal and I do nothing as a hostess except stare at the wall. It is dull dull dull and I check the clock every minute.

I got a haircut and I wanted to keep the length of my hair that was just above my shoulders, but she cut it so short... Essentially it looks like my hair last summer with the flaps, but shorter. I feel like I look like a boy and hate it mucho.

I want a job in Peterborough and my hair back. Only one of those is obtainable.

I have a new goal it is the: Get Madison Back to Peterborough for the summer goal. I know I was all excited to live in Toronto, but in reality most of my university friends are gone for the summer and it really doesn't look like my new workmates are too keen on new, especially significantly younger, companions. So I need to get home! I'd still have my apartment in Toronto, but I could potentially be living at Jenn's house just pitching for heat and hydro which is roughly the same amount as what I would be paying for transit to and from work in Toronto. Not to mention going out in Toronto is never really cheap. The other option is that my mom wants to move back to Peterborough, so if she gets a job then I can live with her starting hopefully on May 1st and just couch hop for a month. It just makes more sense to be in Peterborough for the summer considering most of my friends and Mike are there. So now I need a job. Dreams of Beans potentially has hours for me and will tell me by the end of the week... other then that I'm not sure.

So yes... any advice comments etc are welcome to help get me back to Peterborough for the summer.